He’s just not that into you

Earlier this week I read Paul Thomas Bell’s blog : http://paulthomasbell.com/2015/01/12/why-do-we-cheat/.

This got me thinking: Why do people cheat? And , more importantly, why do they find it so easy to cheat? 

Well, according to “statistics” and social media it means that the guy just wasn’t that into you. You just weren’t the one that he wanted to hold hands with as you walk on the beach. Or the one he wanted to start a family with. You were just not the one.

But what if it’s more than that? I mean, what if men aren’t as physically obsessed as we think they are?

What if they, like most women, have lost their faith in love.

You see, the fairy tales we watched as little kids were misleading. They taught us that there is always a damsel in distress (even if the distress is being asleep 🙂 ) and then a prince swoops in and saves the day. And they lived happily ever after.

Let’s pause here for a moment. There are two problems with this fairy tale that I want to address:

1. The damsel in this story is not faced with the media constantly telling her that she isn’t beautiful enough. In this version there were no other princes telling her that she is too fat, too skinny or that she needs to go for a boobjob or a chemical peel. No, this damsel is beautiful. Not because she is a size 6 with a C-cup. Or because she is on the Atkins diet while doing the p90x workout. Nope, she is beautiful and worth saving.

2. The prince in this story actually gets to slay the dragon that has kept the princess in the tower for so long. He gets to be her hero. But in reality women have become so independent that they are slaying their own dragons now. They constantly tell princes: “No, no I can do it myself.” This leaves the princes feel emasculated and worthless.

Okay, so fairy tales might have been misleading but they have one true lesson : love exists and is worth fighting for.

So perhaps we should learn a couple of things from fairy tales:

1. It’s time to start believing in true love again. It’s time to love fearlessly.

2. Guys, don’t break a woman down emotionally. By breaking her down, you are breaking down your relationship. If a woman does not feel beautiful and sexy to you as her man, she will keep her body from you out of fear that you are with another woman in your head while you are with her. Love her with your words. Tell her she is beautiful. Tell her she is sexy. Tell her how you love her body. There is still a dragon for you to fight – the dragon of a poor self-image. 

3. Girls, allow your man to be your hero. You might feel that you need to be superwoman all the time, but a man who does not feel needed or wanted will draw himself away emotionally. He needs you to rely on him when you’ve had a bad day. He wants to fix things for you. He wants to carry your bags. He wants to feel like your one and only hero.

True love still exists. The question is: are you brave enough to get lost in it?

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