#29 X-ray

I can feel the silence settling between us. And it’s not long before uneasiness joins the silence.

Did I say something wrong?

I’ve just told him how I felt. Actually, to be honest, I’ve just blurted out to him how I felt. I could feel the words fall over my lips. I could taste their sweet sincerity followed by the bitterness of resentment…

I’ve been preparing this conversation in my head for weeks now. Going over every possible detail. What I would say. His reply.

But I didn’t anticipate this. This complete silence.

If only life was like a game of Scrabble –  the moment you see that your word doesn’t work out the way you want it to you can always just call your letters back. You can keep on doing this until you are happy with the result and press “play”. Your opponent will only see the word that you’ve felt comfortable for him to see.

Or if only you could have an x-ray vision of  what people are thinking. See their thoughts before they give you the nice answer. Or before they’ve perfected their lie. Even before the silence sinks in…

But life is not like a game of Scrabble.

And I can’t have an x-ray of his thoughts.

All I can do is just sit here with Uneasiness on my left. And Silence on my lap. And wait for his reply…

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