#4 What I couldn’t live without…

Day 4 of the Writers Bootcamp https://www.facebook.com/writersbootcampza

“What can’t I simply go without?”, I muse to myself.

Here I am. Sitting in my office. And my actions seem to fit the label of a shampoo bottle:

1. Type

2. Delete.

3. Repeat

It’s not that I can’t think of one thing I can’t go without. It’s more of a “my-mind-wants-to-provide-substitutes-for-everything-I-can-think-of”. Let’s call it “the Realist”.

Here’s what it looks like:

Me: Thinking. Debating. Logic. Memories. Everything that forms a part of my hard drive. Everything that forms who I am today. What if one day, I wake up and I can no longer remember anything. I have no collection of thoughts or experiences. There’s just this void. And without these precious memories I’m just aimlessly floating around. No goals. No desires. Nothing.

The Realist: If you have no memory of your past experiences or knowledge, it won’t bother you. Because you won’t be able to remember that you have forgotten everything. So you will fine. And the chances are that you will carry on living happily without knowing any better.

So this has been going on the whole morning. The Realist and I have gone through quite a lot of topics – from no limbs, being blind, being deaf, no voice (I’ve actually experienced this one for a week) to not being loved,not noticed,  not respected…

Until finally I’ve discovered what I simply can not go without.

God.

I can still go without seeing, hearing and even not being noticed. But without God, this higher being that loves me unconditionally, I have nothing. Without Him there is no hope. So in difficult situations. On stormy waters. When I’m beaten down. An outcast. That’s as good as it’s going to be. There’s no Saviour. No miracles. That’s it. If you’ve been dealt with a losing deck of cards… I sure hope that it came with an apology for the miserable life that you are going to have.

Without God, the only thing that we can put our trust in is the human race. Hoping that humans are naturally forgiving, kind and merciful…

 

 

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